let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
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i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
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I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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