so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
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So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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