I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize