I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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