apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize