I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
be right there i have to get my cape
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize