I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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