ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Randomize