It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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