why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize