I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
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Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
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We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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