I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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