my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize