I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize