I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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