well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize