Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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