similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
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He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
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I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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