You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize