I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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