Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Randomize