That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize