sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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