I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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