gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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