i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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