She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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