Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize