9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
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