before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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