Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
that is very illegal...i love you.
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