I wanna bring you to show and tell
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
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So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
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i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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