I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize