Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize