Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
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getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
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Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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