yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize