This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize