Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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