His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
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That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
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just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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