even my farts smell like vagina
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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