Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
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He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
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He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
did i just pee glitter
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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