You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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