When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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