He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
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