i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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