thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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