Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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