ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize