That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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