so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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